(Originally written as an email to our subscribers on Really Good Emails)

Hello humans,

It’s Monday night (as I’m writing this). My dog is playing with my girlfriend out in the yard as it gets dark. My butt is sore from sitting at my desk for too long working on…

A short list of some lessons learned in four years of sober living.

  1. I can either care about being right or being happy. It’s a choice. I would rather be happy.
  2. They’re not thinking about you. If you’re worried about what someone is thinking about you, take it from me…

An image I took in a church in Roswell NM in 2014 at my dear Grandmother Laverne’s funteral.

It’s Easter Sunday on April 10, 2020. Arguably *every* human on earth is currently affected in some way or another by one common experience.

This year the mythology Easter—death, grief, and hope that life will somehow emerge from behind the veil—have new bite. Whether you ascribe to the traditions that…

Letting go of evaluation and critique to increase joy.

When I sort everything I experience into stacks of best to worst I am reducing every experience to a summary — when in fact it can’t be reduced at all. It’s an experience all it’s own.

The matter of Taste

In 2001 I was working in a cozy nook of a wine bar in…

How excommunication, divorce, alcoholism, and trauma saved my life.

Heyo folks. Today I’m 41 years old. I think I’ve earned every single candle. Thinking about what my man Motherfuton does every year on his birthday, and I felt like if that hairy beast can do it, then dammit, so can…

I’m in the wash. Tumbling around in the dirty water before it drains. I’m being churned. Life is hard y’all, but isn’t wild? There’s nothing like a shit-storm to make you come awake and really feel alive. Here I am. Losing all the answers I’ve collected.

Absaroka Wilderness, Montana, 2014

The concept of self-esteem was a pill we were taught to swallow when all the kids rode Big Wheels back in the day. I don’t think I was told “You need to love yourself”, but it was something along those lines and even then the concept felt selfish and squishy.

  1. My pain is in direct correlation with the amount of control I try to have over my life and others lives. When I accept life as it is, I am able to experience suffering and joy as unique blessings — love notes from life. …

Photo by Morvanic Lee on Unsplash

Thank you breath. How incredible is it that I breathe and live? How incredible that my body knows to breathe even when I forget. That feels like grace, a benefit of life that I don’t work for—a gift.

Thank you heart. You move blood around my body so I can…

Matthew Smith

Matthew Smith is either two wily bear cubs stacked in a trenchcoat or a full-grown man — some days it’s hard to tell.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store